Lines

So, yes, I took a really, really, really extended break from the blog. Now, I’m trying to get back into it since hubby keeps asking about when I’m going to write again. I had to put the blog on hold because I was taking three online Masters courses, and working, and taking care of babies… and, you know, showering and stuff. Now that I am done with school, I want to work at being more consistent with my writing. I’ve got a few ideas about things I want to discuss at some point and time. For today, I want to talk about lines. Yes, as in those things people stand in for one reason or another.

I got to thinking about this while I was out running a few weeks ago. Back before I injured myself yet again (a story for another day) I would do my long runs on the weekends at the mall in town because it’s basically the flattest place in the city. While I was rounding the corner near the movie theater one early morning, I saw people lined up outside the mall. Now, it was a pretty chilly morning. I’d guess it was in the upper 30s or low 40s. It was also raining. It wasn’t a drenching rain, but it was a little more than misting. Now, I know, I’m the nut job who is out there running in the rain, so why should it bother me that people are standing in the rain? And, to be fair, it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t spend every hour of every day thinking about it and fuming. I just really DON’T understand it. And it has nothing to do with the cold or the rain. I don’t understand standing in line for things. There is nothing in this world that I want to buy bad enough that I will stand in line just to be the first person to buy it.

Full disclosure, I did once stand in line at Walmart when one of the Twilight films came out on DVD. However, I feel compelled to claim temporary insanity due to an ever-expanding waist and surging pregnancy hormones (also a discussion for another time). Growing a tiny human can make you do insane things that you might not otherwise do. Let me tell you, the insanity at the D’ville Walmart for this movie was enough to permanently solidify my disdain of waiting in lines for things I am perfectly capable of buying at a later time.  And, to top it all off, the DVD I spent all that time waiting in line for… yeah, it was defective and messed up while I was watching it. So I had to go back to the flerping Walmart the next day anyway to exchange it for one that worked. Yeah, so lesson learned.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Lines. As a news person, I write stories all the time about people lining up for things because apparently these are newsworthy events. For instance, the folks who brave freezing temperatures and forgo their Thanksgiving feast with family to camp outside the local Best Buy store TWO WEEKS in advance… for a TV they probably wouldn’t otherwise buy. I frequently see stories about people lining up outside a cell phone store because they have to be the first to have the latest iteration of a smartphone or tablet. I think there must be something wrong with me that I do not understand this drive. Perhaps I am not the true capitalistic, consumeristic American I thought. Although, my border-line hoarding would suggest otherwise.

My irritation over lines doesn’t just apply to phones and super holiday sales. I have never stood in line for concert tickets either, or lined up days before a movie premiere to get tickets. Usually, my husband and I will purposely wait until a movie has been out several weeks just to avoid being in the opening weekend craziness. I don’t even remember the last time we saw a movie at night. We always go to movies on Sunday mornings because the theaters are empty and you don’t have to worry about lines at the concession stand or people talking through the entire movie. I should also note, I am humongous Harry Potter fan, and I didn’t even line up at midnight at the Borders to get those books when they came out. I usually waited until I got up the morning after the books went on sale and then picked up a copy at Target.

Of course, there are exceptions to the line rule. I can’t avoid standing in lines at the grocery store, though I do my best to avoid them. I try to go during non-peak hours, like right after the kids get up on Monday morning. You know, around 7 a.m. Still, the occasional prime time trip can’t be avoided. My husband and I always joke that we have a knack for picking the wrong line during these high-traffic hours. We’ll get in a line that looks like it is moving fast or maybe has only one or two people. Inevitably, someone in the line will argue with cashier about the price of an item, or they will have five dozen coupons to use, or the best—they forgot their money in the car so can they please just go out and get it and come back.  Yeah, that one is great when I am trying to get two tired, over-stimulated babies out of the grocery store. And, of course, I’ve already emptied the contents of my cart on to the conveyor belt, so there is no moving now.

Unfortunately, lines cannot be avoided at theme parks either. When we had season passes to our local Six Flags, we’d usually go on a Tuesday during the summer, first thing in the morning. We could ride everything in the park with minimal lines by 2 in the afternoon and then go home. This only works right at the beginning of the summer. Once you get into July, the park is ridiculously crowded all the time, every day. We never went on weekends because there is just no point. You will maybe ride five or six rides all day on a weekend and you will certainly have to wait a while to get on them, and you can forget hitting a ride a second time. One only has to wait in the overheated, body odor filled bottom level warehouse of the Batman roller coaster one time to know it’s an experience that’s not worth reliving. On second thought, pay no attention to what I just said. Six Flags is super crowded during those times, too. You’re better off just staying home.